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Thursday, March 6th, 2008
8:03 pm - Writer's Block: What? No Goodnight Kiss?
What is the worst date you've ever been on?

The days of my youth hold the memory of my worst date.
When I was naught but a child of 15, I was asked to attend the film "Freddy Got Fingered" where my date tried to force her hands down my pants, her tongue down my throat, and then on the ride home, coughed into my mouth when we kissed again.
I doubt more is needed to describe the painful experience.

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Wednesday, June 20th, 2007
1:33 am - "Back in the day..."
It's truly amazing what courage students have.
I remember being that age, junior high and high school,
and feeling strong and steadfast, as though I could take
on the world.
I lost that somewhere along the way for awhile,
doubt and fear set in into my very little, small minded world.
But somewhere along the way I began to talk
with homeless people again, and give them food.
I could walk through a neighborhood at night and not look
over my shoulder every two seconds. I returned to
the days of walking through Over-the-Rhine and
giving out bottles of water on a servant evangelism
mission, and now I feel as though seeing these kids,
I have a renewed faith in youth, in their ability to
change the world, just like I once again know I can.

Namaste',
~Emmanuel

(Leave your mark)

Saturday, June 9th, 2007
4:41 am - "Papa died Sunday, and I understood"
I just killed a baby Racoon.
I ran it over.

Went back to make sure it was dead, had to run over it to
put it out of misery.

It was one of three I saw. One was already dead in the middle
of the road where the other two were together next to the body.
Now there is only one alive that hid in the woods near the road.

I hurt now.

current mood: depressed

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Friday, January 5th, 2007
1:59 am - Fun stuffs
You scored as Either. You brain is neither specifically male, nor female in the way you perceive your surroundings. As bad as this may sound to some, it can easily mean that you are capable of combining both gender aspects to your advantage. Rather than being genderless you are possibly able to think freely. This does not mean that you are bisexual or androgynous or indecisive, but it might.

</td>

Either

68%

Male

54%

Female

54%

Neither

7%

Should you be MALE or FEMALE?*
created with QuizFarm.com

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Tuesday, October 17th, 2006
10:53 pm - Sickies
I don't really care for the evil sickies caused by flu/cold/food poisoning season, but I'm doing fine.

Wanted to let everyone know I'm still alive and kicking, planning on asking my girl-friend's parents for her hand in marriage this Christmas (we were once engaged, but we broke it off since only my parents knew, and we never made it official).

So yes, life is good.
Love to all, and to all a good night.
~Victor

current mood: sick

(Leave your mark)

Sunday, August 6th, 2006
12:47 am
Phlegmatic
28 Sanguine, 28 Melancholy, 21 Choleric, 57 Phlegmatic
Hail you who are Phlegmatic!



The stability to stay straight on the course.
The patience to put up with provokers.
The ability to listen, while others have their say.
The gift of mediation, uniting opposing forces.
The purpose of peace at almost any price.
The compassion to comfort those hurting.
The will to live in such a way that even your enemies can't find anything bad to say about you.



Here is what's great about you:

You are easy going, easy to get along with, relaxed, consistent,
patient, well-balanced, calm, cool, collected, a good listener, quiet
but witty, sympathetic, kind, you keep your emotions hidden, you are
happily reconciled to life, and you are an all purpose person. At work
you are competent, steady, peaceful, agreeable, you avoid conflict,
mediate problems, lead by consensus, and you don't get that pressured.
As a friend you are pleasant, enjoyable, compassionate, concerned,
inoffensive, a good listener with a dry sense of humor.



And here is how you suck at your worst:

You are unenthusiastic, fearful, worried, indecisive, selfish, shy,
reticent, self-righteous, too compromising and you avoid
responsibility. At work you are not goal oriented, lacking in
self-motivation, hard to get moving, resentful of being pushed, lazy,
careless, discouraging & you have a quiet will of iron. As a friend
you dampen enthusiasm, stay uninvolved, are indifferent, unexciting,
judgemental, sarcastic, teasing & you resist change.



But you are still totally awesome, and everyone has their flaws. At
least you are not bossy and tell everybody what to do all the time,
right? Right.







Curious about the 4 temperment types?

here are links to the 4 basic results you can get.


Phlegmatic

Choleric

Melancholy

Sanguine





My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 55% on Sanguine
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 15% on Melancholy
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 38% on Choleric
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 69% on Phlegmatic
Link: The Personality Plus Profiler Test written by mahdroo on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test


current mood: nostalgic

(Leave your mark)

Saturday, July 15th, 2006
2:12 am - To all those out there
I love you, and whoever you are, you know why. Those memories are treasured my dear one, and whatever may become of us, or me, or you, there is a book somewhere in the cosmos that still holds those words or that photograph. I smile when I think upon such things, and its the happiness and joy that make the day brighter for me. Thank you for still making me smile.

Namaste'
Love,
~Victor

(Leave your mark)

2:09 am - To Vanessa
My darling sister, I shall have to send you one of my rosaries someday (when I finally get around to carving all of them). I've been saving you one (or saving you a promise to one) ever since I finished your prayer marble back in high school.

Love you sister,
~Victor

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2:08 am - To Jeannette
Thank you for the thoughts darling, my thanks.

Namaste',
~Victor

(Leave your mark)

2:08 am - Pocket - Death - Watch (*DA on the fritz, it's about loving someone even at the end of life)
Just once I looked further
Saw sunlight coming quick
Hoped it would heal her
Time warped and sick

If I'm what you saw out there
Let's talk and touch
Like the world's not fair

I held vigil on her body
So fragile in my arms
Wake up, say you're sorry
I won't take the old charms

Will you see
What I said is so
You'd feel if
You only let go

I can't sing it forever
Like a broken pocket clock
It'll catch the chain and sever
Maybe I let it go, not turn the lock

So tell me it's a dream dear
Like a old browned photo
Say it's not real, that it's what I fear

The first touch burns so fine
Like rain falling on weathered tin
The music breaks me in time
Shows off every mark and sin

I have nothing, left for me to fear
Not to let go
Just that you won't be as near

Please save me from my widow
But something about it's new
She finally tells me sweet and slow
I'm sorry, I still love you.

current mood: depressed

(Leave your mark)

Friday, July 14th, 2006
12:00 am - Surgery was just for a baby tooth Vanessa, I'm fine... but the vicodin dreams are fun...I think
Infected by the little white pills
Everything bleeds with double vision
Like a projectionist's night off
When the popcorn worker steps in

The movie's off the reel
The audience wants blood
Ready to tear up the silvered screen
Looking for their fix

No matter who suffers.

The words are numb
Lumps of wet sawdust
Sand castles rather than notes
Just piles of shit barely audible

I'm falling apart it seems
And for every moment of terror
My eyes belie no fear
My slack jawed expression
Is nearly un-moved but for
The few moments I grin
Or the saliva pools and falls
Dripping down my beard
And my dead smile remains frozen.

current mood: drunk

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Thursday, July 13th, 2006
1:00 am - Dental Implants tend to bleed when you poke them...
I survived the surgery,
just resting comfortably, highly doped on Vicodin, but that's not bad.

Vanessa and Sarah, I shall visit you sometimes me hopes.
Regretfully, I have no clue as to when. Money is tight, time is tighter,
and I feel like all I do is work and sleep, but hopefully I'll see my sweet
sisters again. You really have no idea how...for a lack of a better word, beautiful
it is to hear that there are people out there, that no matter how long it's been,
they still are the same wondiferous, caring friends you remember.
Thank you darlings,
all my love,
~Victor

(2 foot prints | Leave your mark)

Sunday, July 9th, 2006
1:56 am
Life is just that, a beautiful continuation of time, a short period of which you are part a major player. Even after death you are part of life in a way, but more importantly, you finally have a better view of it.
If you say that your life has been hell, then Hell itself will have always been with you, and so from the minute of purgatory onwards, your eternal existence is spent within the grey and dawnless town of Hell.
If you look and say that your life was heavenly, then at the moment you enter Heaven you will have seen that Heaven itself has always been yours, always been with you.

Remember,
love the Lord for He loves you more than any telling,
and live your life as though you have entered the Kingdom,
and you'll always be in Heaven.

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Wednesday, February 1st, 2006
8:39 pm - "I didn't know that, and now I do...huh...."
I love this site, and thank You Lord that someone from a religion/belief system other than my own will admit all the little inaccuracies and bullshit that their believers try to put on other people...Oh thank You Lord...
Whew...and here I thought that only Christianity was going to have to admit all the possibly incorrect statements in its history.

http://wicca.timerift.net/ravenwolf.html
*the main site is cool too*

Read, and please enjoy. ^_^

~*BIG HUGS!*~
Namaste',
~Victor

(1 foot print | Leave your mark)

Thursday, December 22nd, 2005
3:11 am - It's never too late
Is there ever a time to not let your loved ones know how much you love them?

So, I've been keeping up with mostly everyone's Lj's from time to time.

Sarah, bless your heart child! May the Lord bring you all the joy and love you deserve, and help you to pee. "They burrowed everywhere!"

Vanessa, my sweet dear, my prayers and blessings for your new child.

Kiddo (you know who you are Miss Kelseeeeeeeee ^_^) I do so hope that you enjoy this 21st birthday thing for awhile and quickly forget, because you'll only start to feel old like me *lol*

Jenn-Dead God woman! Put some clothes on! I know you're hot in the sexy kind of way, but it's frickin December! *luv ya, always blessings for you and your man*

Jenyo - Call me darlin', I miss you. 419-308-2108 is my Verizon cell.

Aaron Oney! Sexy man, that's all I can say.

J-Ro - remember that I'm the only V-Bu , but it's still not as cool as yours. Call me sometime, and I need to ask you about Liz Vaught, I still have all her things and she wanted them back a year ago.

Joy - Make sure to clean off that windsheild before driving young lady! Oh, and my apartment or Jess's apartment is always open for a visitor (come by sometime, we'd love to have you for a few days and serve you food and drink and the best tea evar! Besides, I'll die without a Joy Poetry fix!)

Love to anyone I've missed, but I do love you.

Namaste',
~Victor

current mood: sleepy

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Thursday, October 27th, 2005
2:20 am - "So yeah... that was real nice babe. So...I'll call you" ^_^
Thats the same for everyone, call th.e cell on the weekends or after 9pm for my free nights and weekends or if you're IN for Verizon.

Broken hand, turned 21 on the 24th, all about my fiance'/wife, stories of the frozen north for anyone that wants to hear!

Love,
Namaste',
~Victor

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Tuesday, October 25th, 2005
10:37 am - Darlin's!
Awwwwwwwww!
Of course I wuv my lil' sis! And my 'lil brother!
'sides, when you're twentyone *booyah, been legal for a couple days now* you need to remember all your younger chill-drens and offer to show them how to get shitfaced. :-)

Love ya Sarah, love ya J Ro, takes cares ofs yourselfs and I'll try ta see ya soon *Gotta love roadtrips*

(5 foot prints | Leave your mark)

Sunday, October 23rd, 2005
9:59 pm - Hey Pixxi
Wuv yoo

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Tuesday, May 31st, 2005
11:03 pm - "Carry her my angel, Ohio"
Quixote would never stay so long,
Full on wine and rest
So unbecoming of an Knight Errant.

And yet, the cool...
that sweet aroma of crisp evening air as it
rustles the drawn curtain.
Something indescribable in the lingering,
The way it pulls up spirit from its coil,
How the body yearns for silence from its
every pulse and beat,
For just a second more of bliss,
Under the embrace of the night cool.

current mood: quixotic

(1 foot print | Leave your mark)

Tuesday, May 17th, 2005
9:08 pm - "I never breathed her name again, but I like to dream"
Life is slowing, taking that meandering flow towards the cool shade of a summer, where all lay down tired loads and sleep. Perhaps dreams come to those who slumber, or perhaps only the gentle release from the conscious tediousness of day. Somewhere through the waking dreams and fading sight we find an unsteady and shifting treaty with the flow of time, something that only the weary truly hold onto, and those that wake only in passing; defy and slough off for the tender carress of times and places dearer to them.

(Leave your mark)

1:38 am - Inbetween
Update in the life of Victor:
Grandfather died...I don't know how I life will be for some time with the family, but I've achieved some level of peace.
For a full write up on my experiences with the last few days of being with my grandfather as he slipped away, see neverlovedsoul.deviantart.com
*I'm somewhere between grief and acceptance, but it's the numbness punctuated with joy from the kind heart words that come from my wife that keeps me going now a days*
9 hours at Miami Middletown this summer, trying to find a full time job this summer, then taking two weeks off in August after Miami and before Bowling Green to travel and see my beautiful Sarah down south along with family south of the Carolinas for as long as I can afford financially and temporally.

Call me if you boys and girls can, I'd love to hear from you.
victorb@bgnet.bgsu.edu
I'm all up for parties, road trips Thursday afternoons through Sunday nights, or a good old fashioned hang out.

Love darlings,
remember that. I know you've heard it before, and I've run it into the ground trying to remind you, but it's the passion of love that created this world and moves it round the stars still today. Without it, we are less than nothing.

Love,
Namaste',
~Victor




Your Life Path Number Is 11



11





Your life path is greatly associated with spiritual awareness.

As one of the two master numbers, the 11 yields understanding and knowledge beyond the grasp of others.

The attitude toward life of those possessing this Life Path is somewhat extreme; extremely intuitive, avant-garde, idealistic, visionary, and cultured.

These extremes make you an interesting, if unusual person, with much to offer society.



The Life Path 11 person is deep-thinking, and you are no doubt interested in understanding many of life's mysteries and more intriguing facets.

Your inventive mind and broad-minded views will permit you to succeed in life in any number of ventures.

You can best serve society, however, in those endeavors utilizing your skills of counseling and guidance.

Much of your idealism is people oriented and quite humanitarian in nature.

You expect a great deal of yourself and of those to whom you are close.



On the negative side, there is a lot of nervous tension associated with the 11 life path, and you can be a difficult person to deal with because of this.

For this reason, relationships, at times, can be difficult.

This is a Life Path that seems to feature broad mood swings between the elation and depression.

You are likely to have trouble making decisions and getting your life in gear, so to speak.

There is a tendency for the 11 to harbor feelings of uneasiness, and dissatisfaction with accomplishments and personal progress in life.



Your grandiose schemes usually make sense, but you can get off the track and they can be very impractical.

You have a very distinct side that lacks common sense, and you are quite often unable to distinguish between fantasy and reality.

In this regard, you are perhaps more of a dreamer than a doer.

When you do get on target, your ideas seem to have been inspired on high.

Perhaps you are not a leader, but you are a visionary and a very talented idea person.




current mood: indescribable

(2 foot prints | Leave your mark)

Monday, May 2nd, 2005
4:05 am
I am the night undimmed
by cloud and wind
Flowing free of star
Or moon
Oblivion untouched
I peer into you,
and I am vapor.

(1 foot print | Leave your mark)

Thursday, April 21st, 2005
11:04 pm
My puppy died, I had to put her to sleep with my Mother.
Dad and Phillip were off and about.
I was strong, I stayed strong for my mother, I cried just
a bit, enough to blow my nose on my sleeve to make my
Mom laugh...and then I could barely see on the drive back
to BG. I wept more than I have in...years, upon years...
I drove down just to see my puppy before it was too late,
I drove 6 hours just to see her one last time...I miss ya Puffin.

Love darlings, it's all we've got.

Namaste',
~Victor

(4 foot prints | Leave your mark)

Saturday, February 5th, 2005
12:53 am - It's been awhile boys and girls, maybe just a survey for now
You scored as Remus Lupin. You are a wise and caring wizard and a good, loyal friend to boot. However sometimes in an effort to be liked by others you can let things slide by, which ordinarily you would protest about.

</td>

Remus Lupin

85%

Albus Dumbledore

80%

Hermione Granger

70%

Harry Potter

70%

Sirius Black

65%

Draco Malfoy

60%

Ginny Weasley

60%

Ron Weasley

55%

Severus Snape

50%

Lord Voldemort

5%

Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...?
created with QuizFarm.com

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Thursday, December 23rd, 2004
3:33 am
Pain, pain is where I seem to be heading.

Straight A's, Dean's List, fine house, money in the bank, classes lined up for early graduation, roomates all picked out for our farm outside of town, beautiful wife (most beautiful woman in the world who has captured my heart), and a good path ahead of me.

Why is it that I don't want it, that I want to be out there on the road to Oregon or New York, finding the next parking lot to stay for the night? Why the need to be free, to find what is beyond the last hint of sunshine, starlight, and the setting of the moon? I need it, and somehow I've been chained so well I can't even begin to slip this place like I once could to find myself in a church yard at 6am weeping in the snow at the feet of Mary, driving back from that Chicago parish to Ohio in time for morning classes and the knowledge that death rode with me that night but let me be once I found the meaning for the drive.

Is it death I seek again, or is it just the beyond I'm trying to see from behind these walls...and why no windows...

Listen to Keane, you'll understand.

Be good,
Namaste' (The God in me sees, and honors, the God in you)
~Victor

current mood: dead

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Sunday, November 21st, 2004
3:59 am - grrrrrr....
Fire drill at 3am...
Suppressing urge to kill....

(Leave your mark)

Saturday, November 20th, 2004
10:22 pm - Somehow Vanessa...I wouldn't count that out except for the married thing for both of us *wink*
Love and Sex With Your Friends by dannygrl0129
Username
Sex
Favorite Color
Love of your life:nimrodangelboy
Best sex of your life:keiko17
Will make you come 1000 times:temptress04
Will break your heart:amy_nicole527
Best Kisser:bandersnatchi
Best cuddler:mathgeek8668
You secretly dream of:jbriski
But this person dreams of you:aggy7686
Will handcuff you and screw you silly:sli_butterfli
Quiz created with MemeGen!

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10:09 pm - So long, so long since I took the road to Cincinnati
Post a memory of me.
It can be anything you want, just so long as it happened.

Then post this to your journal.
See what people remember about you.

(1 foot print | Leave your mark)

2:52 pm
Fully tilted across your lips
The red crescent
Speaks volumes,
Held among the last threads
Before the lights dim
To shadow your face
That night has fallen too hard upon.

(Leave your mark)

Friday, August 6th, 2004
9:50 pm - "Colorblind" by Counting Crows, good song for this moment
I fell in love with a woman,
I know few of you know me well, or still read these instead of just glancing over them. And since no one related to me reads this, I'm happy to say:

I love her, we're engaged, she is my wife, my love, my one and only.
I may not have achieved anything this summer, but I have gained the world whenever she tells me she loves me.

~MonKay

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