If you say that your life has been hell, then Hell itself will have always been with you, and so from the minute of purgatory onwards, your eternal existence is spent within the grey and dawnless town of Hell.
If you look and say that your life was heavenly, then at the moment you enter Heaven you will have seen that Heaven itself has always been yours, always been with you.
love the Lord for He loves you more than any telling,
and live your life as though you have entered the Kingdom,
and you'll always be in Heaven.